It goes marching on whether I want it to or not.

It's been three years.  THREE YEARS.  How can that be?

Three years since I've seen your smile, heard your voice and felt your kiss on my cheek.

I miss you sweet boy.

All day, everyday, every hour, every minute.

It never gets easier.  EVER!

I still have my dreams of you.

A dream is truly a "wish your heart makes".

 I do see you.......

I've seen you in my dreams exactly eight times.   And yes, I count.  I wish it was more.

I pray every night that I will see you.  And I pray that when I see you in 

my dreams that I "remember" to go up to you and hug you tight for as long as you let me.

It's happened a couple of times and it is such a gift for me.  

I'm thankful to God for those precious moments.

I pray I tell you how much you're loved when I see you in my dreams.

Did I tell you that enough when you were here.  I hope so.

I don't think it could ever be enough.

I see you in you in Makenzie, Dylan and Brody.

In Makenzie's love of books.

In Dylan's love of toys, legos, Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Halloween and video games.

In Brody's love of books, his use of "big" words like you did, building, video games, the way he
approaches sports and his "long" hair. 

I see you in their smiles and hugs.

Boy I miss that "smirky" smile of yours that I use to give you such a time about.

I see you in your baby sister.  I actually "see" you in her eyes.

She misses you so much!  

I see you in every toy you've ever loved, in every book you've ever read.

I see you every time I witness someone being kind.

You are the kindest person I know.

Since you've been gone from this earth I've tried to be more purposeful with

everyone I know.  I strive to do little things to make them feel special.  I  celebrate

friends and family more.   I endeavor to enlarge the group of people I do that for.

Sometimes I'm successful, sometimes not.

I'm super excited when someone gives me or shows me a picture of you I might not have seen.

It's almost like another moment of you. 

I love when people mention your name or relate a story of you.

It's the best!

34 years is not nearly enough for a mother to have her child.

I cherish those 34 years.  Every second of them.

I wish I had used my time with you more wisely.

I strive to do that now with Mike, your sisters and your nieces and nephews.

You are three years gone from your earthly life.   But I know you're in heaven

which means I'm three years closer to seeing you in eternity and that's what I hold onto son.

My trust lies in Jesus.

I'm so very grateful you were saved as a child.  It is the only thing that eases my broken heart.

So until then I will try to make as many memories with the rest of the family

and friends.

I will try to celebrate all the things you loved and pray that those things
will bring a smile to my face because they made you happy and not tears
because I can't physically see you enjoy them anymore.

Thank you God for allowing me 34 years to be this sweet boy's mom.

Ryan, I miss you and love you from the second you were born until I see you again
in heaven.  

This is your heavenly third birthday.  I miss you so very much but I will
celebrate you today as I know you must be in heaven celebrating with Jesse.

I love you my precious only son.


Missing my boy

It's been one year to the day since you entered heaven.

I miss you every minute of every hour of every day.

There's so much I want to know.


I hope you're with Jesse.

Can you hear me talking to you?

Does Jesus tell you what I pray for every night?

I miss your calls.

I miss our lunch dates.

I miss the holidays with you.

I miss the ordinary days with you.

I missed making your chocolate cake this year.

I miss your voice.

I miss your long pony tail and your week old scruffy beard.
(even though I use to complain.....so sorry)

I miss your crooked smile.

I miss your tiny ears.

I hope you got your balloons we sent up to you and Jesse today.

I can't wait to see you again and hear all the things I'm missing.

I hope your first heavenly birthday was filled with Lasagna,
chocolate cake with chocolate icing and Mt. Dew.

"forever and always my baby you'll be.


Fun Fridays - National Donut Day

It seems like every week now has a national "fill in the blank" day.

I actually think it's kind of fun, especially if you have a "someone special" around
to make it into a memorable moment.

Friday is National Donut Day

Since I had Dylan this Friday and the extreme heat weather conditions called for a dip in the 
pool, I decided it would be a great day to try out this super sweet donut float I've been
seeing around the stores.

And it would simply be a crime if we didn't have actual donuts to eat,
I decided dinner would be just that.
(Don't worry Mom, I actually took him out for actual food before heading home)

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that Dunkin Donuts has a blueberry cobbler cronut (on the left)
My new favorite.

And what would National Donut Day be without a sprinkle donut.

Disclaimer:  Dylan agreed to let me take pictures if I let him choose the last 
shot.  Life with boys……..

How did you celebrate  National Donut Day?


Walt's World Wednesdays

Disney Starbucks Mugs

If you've known me any time at all you know that I'm a
big fan of both Disney and Starbucks.

So I was tickled pink when Starbucks came out with special
Disney mugs.

I feel instantly in love with the Magic Kingdom and Epcot mugs.
They happen to be my two favorite parks at Disney World.

They also have mugs for Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios however
they weren't my favorite colors or design and I'm not one to collect something
for completeness sake.   If I don't really love it, I don't get it.
Although I've noticed most people do try to go for the entire selection.

I did however, really really want the Disneyland mug.

I've never been there and I hope to rectify that in the future but there is no way to order a mug.

You have to actually purchase them in the specific park on the mug.

In comes my sweet sister Kim.  She knew someone
in California and talked her into going to Disneyland, purchasing it and
mailing it to Orlando.  That is so special and meant a lot to me.
She gifted it to me at Christmas.

And while she was at it she also gave me the special Disney Christmas mug.

I absolutely love them.

Thank you Kim and your California friend who made this little bit of Disney Magic come true.

I may have to explore whether Disney Paris, Tokyo and Shanghai have Starbucks
and what their mugs look like.  Can you ever have too many Disney Starbucks Mugs.
I would suspicion  my husband would say yes.


Look who's "almost 6".

We had the opportunity to make a quick trip to Illinois for Kelly's end of 
the year recital.  I alway love it when I'm able to make one of my yearly trips to 
coincide with recital time.

I'm excited to make a post about it but I'm waiting on pictures so that will be in a post soon I hope.

Even though we were there for just a few days, most of the time was taken up with activities
regarding the recital.  However on the last day we scooped the kids up and crammed as much fun
in 24 hours that we could.

We got a hotel room and had a slumber party.  We surprised Brody with balloons,
a banner and presents when he woke up the next morning.  We won't be there on his actual
birthday next week.  Luckily his Aunt Melissa and cousin Dylan are going to fly up to celebrate
with him.

The theme of his party this year is Octonauts so I tried to make his "fake" party as he calls it
to be the same.  

We had breakfast downstairs and went swimming first then upstairs for presents.

Most of his gifts were Octonauts but we also gave him an outfit which he'll open on
his "real" birthday (nothing exciting about clothes for little boys).  We also got the book
Our Great Big Backyard written by Laura Bush and her daughter Jenna.
Makenzie promptly read it to him.  It's a great book about exploring America.

The kids asked me to take a picture of them blowing a kiss to their Florida family and
Brody wanted a picture of his favorite gift because the Vegimals are his favorite Octonauts.
Thanks Aunt Carrie.

Afterwards it was back downstairs in the dining room for cake.

Brody was so sweet and offered other random people in the room a slice of his birthday cake.
Finishing our celebration, we decided to drive to a local lake with several playgrounds. 
 Due to a heat wave of 96 degrees and several bee incidents we changed course 
and came back to the hotel for a little tv and hotel bed horsing around.  

This is the visit that Poppy introduced Makenzie to the funny papers.  She had never seen
them before.  How times have changed.

Then it was time for dinner.  We let the birthday boy pick.  Pizza Hut it was then on
to Dairy Queen for dessert.

Brody finished his ice-cream quickly and then helped me with mine.

Happy "fake" birthday Brody Bear.  Nana and Poppy love you very much and
we're so glad we got to be with you for the 6th birthday.



This is the first year Dylan participated in scouts.
This particular troop requires that the Dads are involved in all the meetings.
They take turns organizing the projects and being
the leader at their Tuesday night meetings.

 I suppose that would make his dad's (Randy) first year also.
I applaud the leaders who put in hours of their time each week and
the Dad's who after a long busy work day attend the
meetings with a group of "active and energetic" boys and give up weekends for out door
scouting activities.  

In first grade you are a Tiger Scout.
They went camping, sold popcorn, had car races, earned 
patches, participated in community service and had all around fun.

At the end of the year they have a cross over ceremony to move up to the next level.
Bear Scouts.

The boys showing their new patches.

And after they cross over the bridge the become Bears.

I know they are looking forward to another adventurous, fun and crazy busy
scouting year.


Saturday Morning Soccer

Soccer came to a season end today.

This has been a season for learning what good sportsmanship is all about.

He has such  fantastic coaches that he's had 3 seasons.  Unfortunately
he will be moving up an age division and will be on a different team.
The coaches have been very good about teaching teamwork and encouraging
them on trying instead of results.  I know that's not what a lot of people go for
but at this young age Kindergarten and First Grade it's how I prefer it.

The first season everyone was new and were just learning so they pretty much
lost every game.  By their second season they had learned to play well together and 
won all their games.  The coach decided to move them up in skill level 
and this season they lost most of their games again.  The teams they played 
were much harder to beat.  That's how you learn.

I'm gonna miss these sweet faces

They played hard but lost their final game.

And I had to add this picture to remember this season of his little life and how
learning to lose well became an important lesson that we are working on.

It was short lived as after the game they had a end of the season party at the sprinkler park
across the street.  It's amazing what cool water and horsing around on
a hot day can do to lift your spirits.

Thanks to all you coaches out there who dedicate your time to invest in
these young lives and teach them lessons that they have for a lifetime.